The Jacksons are reuniting...they're going on tour

I been slacking. Whoops.

So I was kinda pissed I missed E6. I've been listening to a lot of Senor Smoke in the background lately, and a lot of the songs are really growing on me. I still gotta go with Fire for most indispensable, though, for reasons relating to what I'm about to say.

On thursday, when I still thought I was going to the show, I went on E6's website to fuel my excitement. It's a decent site, and in addition to merch and tour dates and the like, they have links to a myspace page and a blog. I looked at them a little, and suddenly I felt my enthusiasm for the show start to wane ever, ever so slightly. I quickly closed the site and focused on something else, and I was fine.

I later realized why: Because on Fire, Dick Valentine and his cronies entered my brain and put on such a show of virile skullf*ckery and hardcore hilarity that I built them all up to be these totally insane demigods who act that way not only in the studio and on stage, but in the grocery store, at home, on the phone, on the street, wherever. They always want to take you to a gay bar, spend all your money, start a nuclear war on the dance floor, reach into the fires of your heart, and comment on the impropriety of the dancing that may or may not be occurring in a public thoroughfare.

So when I read about them having lives that bear some similarity with what you and I consider to be "normal", I feel that magical illusion start to fade a little bit. So I never want to read about what they're up to ever again or know whether or not the names on the album are their real ones or not. I just want to listen to their albums and go to shows like the one at the North Star, where they were utterly outrageous, just as I'd always envisioned them.

Senor Smoke has its moments as well, but I can't stand to listen to tracks like "Monty's Grill" or whatever it's called because Dick Valentine doesn't talk like that in my mind. And while "Rock and Roll Evacuation" is a rocking, rocking tune, the socio-political commentary seems very, very out of character. Jarring. But I love you, Electric Six. "Devil Nights" is my current favorite tune of all. Keep it up, but don't venture out of your pantheon. Oh, and your cover of "Radio Ga Ga" made me appreciate the original way more.

I'm toying with the idea of having COBRA t-shirts made with everyone's name on the back, jersey-style. Probably red-on-black. Chip in your sizes in case it ever happens.

Early Warning: Stereo Agency playing at the Old Brewery Tavern, Bethlehem, March 3 @ 9 PM. I want to see more people there than last time. Don't forget, Mingler will be there playing cool video shit on the wall behind us. It will be sweet. Cheap drinks! Low door charge! ($2 I think)

Achtung

E6=sold out. Motherf*ck...

She was the slow going hours tonight...

YOU OWE ME MONAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!

Electric 6 is on like Donkey Kong for tonight. Holy f*cking sh*t. Yes, I will be your Mrs. Dick Valentine.

OK, need some photoshopping help. Well, sorta.

Trying to make a flyer for the show this weekend, I found a cool shot on the interweb:

I then used Adobe Photoshop (TM) to add some text. But when I uploaded it into my web photo account dealy, it came out like this:

Anybody know what that's all about?

Rock Block

To put the word out early, Stagency plays this Saturday at the F-house. Updated website displays all the goods at www.stereoagency.com , unidimensional as it is. Don't let that 1:30 stop time fool you, necessarily. We'll go till 2:15 if circumstances permit.

And by "circumstances permit", I mean "at least 15 people tell us to shut up in unison".

Electric Six is this thursday at the Khyber. I have been so pumped for this, especially because Ben and I thought we could drag Brad down to Philly for the show. Yet it looks like I might not even be able to make it, we only have two nights to practice before the show and we might need thursday. Fingers crossed.

Governor Swann, you have thirty seconds for rebuttal

Work is crazy busy, but I've been meaning to throw in my two cents on the outcome of the big game.

First: I wish it had been a cleaner game, both in terms of play execution and officiating.

Seattle played better than Pittsburgh about 75% of the time--fortunately for the Steelers, their 25% came at all the moments when success mattered the most. Yeah, the refs made some questionable calls. There will be no final word on the Roethlisberger touchdown, but they would have gone for it on 4th and 1...and Pittsburgh had the best Red Zone TD percentage in the league. Pass interference calling that touchdown back was a reach, sure.

But if anyone thinks Seattle would have won that game if a few calls had gone the other way, just look at the rest of their plan execution. Jerramy Stevens dropped so many balls it became a running gag on the ESPN talk shows Monday. Clock management = atrocious. Shaun Alexander, league MVP, was a non-factor. About the only Seahawks consistently doing their job well throughout the game were the offensive line. They gave their stars opportunities, and their stars failed them.

Pittsburgh, meanwhile, couldn't get going most of the time. Plenty of 3-and-outs. Roethlisberger ended the game with a 22 passer rating, lowest ever for a winning Super Bowl QB. What passer rating doesn't account for, however, is clutch play, game management, and anything involving rushing. Many factors were critical in Pittsburgh's win, among them Big Ben's scrambling and clutch 3rd down conversions when they mattered most, i.e. the 3rd and 23 (or whatever) when he completed to Ward at Seattle's 2 to set up his rushing TD.

Compare the referees' so-called bias against Seattle with the bias against Pittsburgh during the divisional game. They called back an interception which should have sealed the game up with an 11-point lead. But rather than bitch and deflate, the Steelers continued to try their damndest to hold on to their win (although I'm not sure what Bettis was thinking with that one-handed carry). Seattle, meanwhile, when facing adversity, lost all morale. Possibly that may have been due to the 80% Steeler Nation makeup in the stadium.

So ends my rant as to why the Steelers showed why they deserved to win, and Seattle showed why they didn't. While I'm at it, drinking to excess and acting the fool at a college party does not constitute douchebaggery, especially for someone 23 years old fer chrissake. Not that this will shut up any naysayers, like Bill Simmons, who admitted he was thinking through the whole game, "Man, my Patriots would have killed either of these teams."

Yes, Mr. Simmons, that is probably true. The Pats are built to win Super Bowls. Too bad they weren't built to win divisional playoff games. Better luck next year, and in the meantime, STFU. Enjoy the ring ceremony. Ahh, I'm just ribbin' ya. I still like you. Seriously though, you're a jerk. Heh, I'm just joking. You're great.

It's been 26 years in coming, to hear the Stillers' machinery humming

After taking Monday off to recuperate, I feel up to posting about the past weekend.

It was easily the best Super Bowl party I've ever been involved in, certainly not least due to the fact that my favorite team was participating and also won football's biggest prize. Yet there was much more to it than that.

Our brigade began to arrive at Starter's around 3:30 PM. Knowing that I had to pace my drinking, I responsibly had a glass of water before diving headfirst into a bucket of Iron City, the first of many. Big thanks go out to Zarana, who volunteered her services as a DD and embedded journalist of sorts.

Destro and the Baroness arrived, the former wearing his No. 43 jersey and the wig of wigs, which the sweatshop resources of COBRA cranked out gradually over the course of the previous two weeks. Mr. Polamalu's flowing locks were dutifully reproduced and were seen flying about throughout the night.

I tried to restrain myself, but anxiety and excitement won the day and soon I was drinking and chainsmoking at a rate which ensured my death by the third quarter...the only question being whether it would be caused by emphysema or cirrhosis. Salvation came in the form of Kavan, who had brought face paint for the occasion. As I was painting a Steelers logo on his cheek, a middle-aged fan approached with two small children, asking if they could be painted next. Pythona volunteered her assistance to meet the rising demand, and I was kept fairly busy until game time painting the assembled Pittsburgh faithful. Got some free drinks out of it too, which was nice.

The Crimson Guard presence was further bolstered by the arrival of Zandar, Major Bludd, and Dr. Mindbender, who was wearing probably the best zealot outfit in the place...the pictures that will be posted, or at least linked here, will tell more of the story than I can. Also with them was Dino and Tefslop, who will get more meritorious mentions as soon as I get their blog sites or someone gives them to me.

Starter's more than did its part in setting the atmosphere. Along with untold liters of IC, the Roethlisburger finally made the menu (albeit a special one) and they had brought about $1,000 worth of Steelers merch to give away at halftime. Thus, I missed the Stones. From what I gather of the reviews, that's for the best.

As for the game itself, that's going to have to wait until tomorrow. I've got some more work to do here today, and about 12 minutes to do it.

P.S. Zartan is a punk, though. Make no mistake.

[Downer Alert]

I recently heard something that depressed me. No need to go into specifics, but the gist of it was that a person I consider to be a stand-up fellow and good friend declared, to no one in particular, that if a person held a certain set of political views, they wouldn't be able to be friends.

I get angry because I associate and spend time with people every day whom I would clash viciously with in a debate setting. I mean, fer chrissake, if I bestowed friend status on only those who shared my socio-political views, I'd have very few friends. I don't give a shit what you believe. If you carry yourself as a decent human being, have a good sense of humor, are fun to hang out with, et cetera, you and I will be gravy. And it's funny that the comment which depressed me so issued forth from the part of the socio-political spectrum which claims to espouse open-mindedness, progressive thought, and tolerance. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the irony.

Maybe the day will come when I become so curmudgeonly that I only surround myself with like-minded assholes. It's sad to see that happen to someone so young.

Stronger than an I-beam

Well, work is heating up. Those politicians won't assassinate their own characters, you know. But for now, check this out. This has given my life meaning. Number one on the list, and it all started with a tiny nucleus of crazies. High five, hink, [face].

I love Joey Porter. I really do. I don't even think he was far out of line ripping back at Jerramy Stevens for his relatively tame Bettis comment. But the man needs to stop talking now, for real. If he keeps battering away at Seattle like the Allies did to the Germans at Versailles, he won't see the demoralized and devastated runner-ups-to-be come Sunday. He'll see Panzer divisions.