Doodily Ding-Dong Tick-Tock!

Everything is just so...brutal today.

Following up on the Israeli airstrike story, there are reports that a team of crack Israeli commandos raided a military site somewhere in Syria and seized North Korean nuclear material. The Syrians denied that anything happened but would respond more completely at a later time. The Israelis have said nothing at all. What a pain in the ass it is to try and report news about the Near East.

The incoming prime minister of Japan, replacing the recently resigned Shinzo Abe, is named Fukuda. Full name Yasuo Fukuda, but I will call him Jun.

A story appeared in Newsweek recently, claiming that Dick Cheney was thinking about asking Israel to launch a missile strike against Iran, so that Iran would retaliate, so the U.S. would have pretext to launch attacks against Iran. Really. That's the extent of it. According to the article, he hasn't even spoken to any Israelis about the idea. So that's the whole story? Why stop there, as I'm sure Cheney has probably thought about nuking California and having his children assassinated. That sounds like a much more interesting non-story. Get your sh*t together, Newsweek.

And on that note, here's a dose of the Metalocalypse season premiere! The record comes out tomorrow. I'm not sure if I should just buy it on iTunes, or get the cd, there's probably cool extra crap if I get the cd, but it will cost more. Decisions.

Toki: You know, maced turkeys isn't that bads. It tastes stingy!
Skwisgaar: Yah it makes my tongues numbs but, yah it's goods!
Murderface: Yeah it's good for lunchmeat, ya know, if you're on the go like me...I'm on the go, usually.
Lawyer: You wanted to, talk to me?
Murderface: Uh, yeah. Siddown.
Lawyer: No thank you, I'll stand.
Nathan: Oh, we wanted to say...we're sorry...there. There you go. Get outta here.
Lawyer: You're sorry. For...releasing dangerous criminals back into the streets?
Nathan: Uh, about calling you a robot. You, you're--
Toki: You not a robot.
Nathan: --not a robot.
Toki: Not a robot.
Murderface: No you are not.
Nathan: You're not.
Murderface: And we know that must have made you feel bad.
Lawyer: mm-hmm.
Skwisgaar (mouth full of maced turkey): Ands listens, yous the best butlers we's ever hads, so we no wants yous to quit.
Lawyer: I'm, uh, not a butler...never mind. That's all, then?
Pickles: Dat's it. I mean, uh, we're glad you forced us out there, again. Y'know, it felt good. Y--Y'know, couple tings I woulda done differently...
Lawyer: You mean, like, not blind the stage driver and crash it into a prison of dangerous criminals?
Pickles: Hehhh, no, dat was a happy accident. [sigh] I was talkin' about the lighting? Y'know, changin' dat up a little bit? Not by much, just slightly? Y'know, cuz the mood wasn't totally captured? Not totally?
Lawyer: Very well.
Skwisgaar (mouth still full of maced turkey): And I would have turns, yah know, Murderface and Tokis down a little in the main mix, yah know...[trails off]
Murderface: Yeah, just the little things, you know, I wasn't crazy about my new boots either, comfort while playing is reeeeeally important, you know.
Nathan: Yeah, it is, it is. But no big deal. You'll get 'em next time. But, oh, hey. Hey.
Lawyer: ...Yes?
Nathan: Keep up the great work. See ya later.
Lawyer: Goodbye. Oh...remember, start thinking about that new record.
Murderface: ROBOT!